Results: Copyediting Case Study

Copyediting helps the Journalism.net reporters to develop journalistic skills, knowledge, and values in their writing. The table below the cut shows the difference between a first draft of a story about Madison’s lakes and the final, published draft.

In the first draft of this story, the reporter begins by promising the reader “some facts” (which he never actually provides) in a personal voice. He goes on to offer one side of the story – a woman who lives on the lake who does not believe that the scare is real. In the first draft of this story, this reporter demonstrates that he has not mastered the skill of writing in the neutral voice, the knowledge that all facts must be sourced reliably, or the value of presenting a balanced account.

In the final, published draft, this reporter has removed all three of these concerns through revision to the editor’s copyedits: he has stated the issue clearly and neutrally, he has sourced his facts to a toxicologist, and he has provided quotations that give balanced voice to several sides of this story.

The copyediting process behind one story…

Initial Storydraft:In recent times, one issue has scratched the surface and made a spark in the greater Madison area, Toxic Blue Green Algae. I will provide you with some facts and interviews from people who have lived on the hot spot for blue green algae, Lake Kegonsa long before the Blue green algae mess.Lake resident Pat Luhn, is not afraid of the Blue green algae scare. “I think it is just blown out of proportion” she plainly says. “Peg/wp-content/uploadsle just feel the need to blame something whenever something doesn’t go right.”

Editor Copyedits:Everyone expects a reporter to write the facts – so why tell them that’s what you’re going to do? It would be better to just tell them, rather than say you’re going to tell them, don’t you think?So what is the issue? At this point, it’s hard to understand what Pat is talking about because the story hasn’t said yet what the scare is. Maybe you should start out with a paragraph describing the problem – and then get into the opposing viewpoints on it.

Final Storydraft: In recent times, one issue has scratched the surface and made a spark in the greater Madison area, toxic blue-green algae.Toxic blue-green algae is an algae made up of the organism cyanobacteria. Cyanobacteria is found in lakes, ponds and streams all across Wisconsin. Some algal species, like cyanobacteria, produce toxins that, when ingested, can harm the neurological systems or liver of people, pets, livestock and wildlife, according to Mark Werner, a toxicologist with the Department of Health and Family Services.[...] Long-time Lake resident Pat Luhn, is not afraid of the blue-green algae “scare”. “I think it is just blown out of proportion” she plainly says. “Peg/wp-content/uploadsle just feel the need to blame something whenever something doesn’t go right.” Lake resident Juliette Jebsurn said “I’m going to stay out of the water, it’s just too risky.”

Click here to read the full, published version of this story in the online edition of the Wisconsin Science Journal.