Reflections on the Barracuda: Doing what you don’t necessarily love
A lot of parents I know don’t play computer games with their children for the very obvious reason that they (meaning, the parents) don’t like to play computer games themselves. And that makes a certain amount of sense, until you think about all the other things that you do as a parent with and for your kids that you don’t like doing yourself.
I was reminded of this is a very concrete way last week when I took my daughter and one of her friends to a synchronized swimming meet for their team, which is the first synchro meet I had ever been to. I did it because this is something that my daughter cares about. Something that she wants to spend time on. An interest that I want to share with her, even if I don’t hold it as an interest of my own.
Now, please don’t get me wrong: I have nothing against synchro as a sport. But driving an hour and a half and sitting for over two hours to…
Oh, well, rather than trying to explain, I’ll just copy my liveblog of the event below, which I imagine is not that different from how many parents experience watching their first videogame. It was really confusing, and a lot of it seemed pretty trivial to me as an outsider. But it was fun for my daughter, and in the end brings us closer together and lets me help shape her experience of that part of her life.
For those who don’t want to read below the jump, the point is: as a parent we do all kinds of things that our kids love but we don’t. And just like the decision to go see the latest Disney movie, whether you as a parent like to play computer games is not the last word on whether your could or should play them with your kids.
17.15 getting here was no problem, although it did take a few circuits in the parking lot to figure out which entrance to use.
17.20 as soon as we got inside the girls joined a group of their teammates an disappeared into the locker. My daughter had been saying she was nervous, but there wasn’t even really a moment to wish her luck. Little more than a chauffeur I am.
17.23 I looked at the signup sheets outside the pool, but they were singularly uninformative. Looks like there are maybe 30 kids in the meet? Or only 30 younger kids? Really, who can tell?
17.35 another dad in the bleachers suggests not losing sight of your kid, since they are all in the same outfit: black bathing suit and white cap. To my credit I can recognize my daughter’s stroke in the water during warm ups.
17.43 there is clearly no hope of finding another Madison parent here. So much for building community.
17.46 there is the usual concession stand with the usual junk. So it is like a swim meet, only more confusing since I have no idea what is going to happen, and clearly the kids will never be coming to the bleachers. I do have a new appreciation for what parents who haven’t been to swim meets before go through.
17.51 I asked a neighbor in the stands a question about the meet and she had no idea. Kind of feels like the blind leasing the blind.
17.57 still looks mostly like a bunch of white caps bobbing in the water.
18.04 fewer heads bobbing now. Kids moving to the side of the pool to chat with friends.
18.06 heads bobbing again.
18.07 I can’t help but think how interesting this would all be to an anthropologist. Perhaps that is why I’m not am anthropologist.
18.11 another more experienced parent says there are 2 sections to the meet. These are the little kids, and they finish up and can leave before the older kids start.
18.12 all he bobbing head out of the pool now. The meet was supposed to start at 6pm.
18.13 someone just said “girls, line up”. But nothing is actually happening. How will they know where to line up, anyway?
18.14 just heard a kid saying “I don’t know where to go”
18.16 I’ve seen physics simulations of the random motion of particles in an ideal gas that seem less chaotic than this.
18.17 someone is trying to direct traffic, but it is hard to believe any kid could hear her over the commotion.
18.18 a more experienced parent just said to me: “I told you they all look the same”. But I’d recognize my daughter’s stance anywhere. Besides, she’s the only one chewing her fingers.
18.20 a judge just asked for quiet, but nothing happened.
18.22 a judge bellows for quiet and the first swimmer starts her routine.
18.23 my daughter is second in her group.
18.24 she gets about a 3.4. Snapped her leg up too quickly, I think. But then what do I know>
18.25 now she moves to the back of a very long line.
18.26 looks like my daughter’s score was actually pretty good for her group. But again, I can’t really tell.
18.31 talking with a dad who is on his second year of synchro and he isn’t really sure why is going on either.
18.33 just stripped down to my t-shirt because the pool is so hot. My informant says this is one of the less overheated pools.
18.35 my daughter has moved on to licking her thumb.
18.36 kind of odd that here is no cheering at all. It is almost surreal.
18.38 my daughter just saw me and waved.
18.43 my daughter does a baracuda (whatever that is). Gets 3.4 again.
18.46 last figure. It is a “walkover”. 3.2.
18.49 almost all the kids heading to the shower. So now I guess we wait for awards?
18.51 everyone just sitting around, sort of chatting.
18.53 the older kids are starting their warm ups. I think this may be a bad sign.
18.54 they just announced that the little kids awards will come after the next age group. There was a collective groan from the spectators.
18.55 lots of muttering complaints from the stands.
18.58 still no sign of my daughter from the showers.
19.00 my theory is that they are postponing awards to sell more hotdogs.
19.01 my land but it’s hot in here.
19.04 no change. I mean literally, no change.
19.08 one of the coaches said that the next age group will go much faster.
19.17 older kids done bobbing heads. Lined up and ready to go.
19.19 still lined up.
19.21 it is actually pretty amazing what these kids can do–even just that they can hold their breath so long.
19.26 well I wouldn’t use the word “quick” to describe this part of the meet.
19.53 my daughter won a first place in her division! Although the fact that she was the only person in her division does take some of the shine off the ribbon.
20.05 heading back to the parking lot….
First of all, let me say that I feel for you. I sat through five years of watching my son be the slowest kid in karate class, and I must say that, for me, it was one of the most grueling parts of being a parent. Now, on to the point. I’m beginning to wonder if the whole adult attitude of, “I don’t like playing games with my children!” isn’t a learned behavior based on what we think we are suppose to do when we “grow up.” I’m 43 years old and I have three children spanning between the ages of two and nineteen. While that doesn’t exactly make me the average parent, it does make me about the right age to have computer game playing children. I don’t play computer games as much as I would like to, not because I have somehow grown out of playing games, but rather I simply don’t have as much time to play them as I would like. And believe me, I would like a lot! I would like nothing more than to spend hours a day on EVE or W.O.W. I’ve been playing computer games since my old TI99-4a (kids, look it up) and my love of games didn’t go away when I got old, so my question is, why aren’t the old Donkey Kong, Ms.Pac-Man and Dragon’s Lair players playing games with their kids? What excuse do they have? Incidentally, I played Pokemon Red while my son played Pokemon Yellow. We would challenge each other constantly in Pokemon Stadium and my Nidoqueen (I named her Latifah) can still kick his Pikachu’s butt. (OPEN CHALLENGE!)
That’s a great story! Thanks for sharing it. I’m not sure how many parents do or do not want to play games with their kids. It seems to me, though, that whether or not we like it, we should do it anyway–just as I sit through Synchro meets and you through Karate.
Of course, if it is something you like, so much the better…. Who wouldn’t want a good reason, as a parent, to do something you want to do anyway?